Living with COVID-19

Covid-19

This year has been filled with so many challenges to our social norms and this has forced all of us to look at our world differently. Covid-19 has created a new normal in the entire world, from social distancing, wearing masks to the social and economic effect this pandemic has had on our society and economy. I know that for many this pandemic has brought tragedy, and long lasting effects far beyond the span of this pandemic. It is for this reason that I want to bring awareness to the personal experience of the voices we don’t hear on the news, the statistics that are our neighbors, friends, and family members. This is just one of those stories. 

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Important note: None of these cases required hospitalization and or were so severe that required medical intervention. Also the names of these individuals have been changed to protect their privacy. As far as I know all of them took the necessary precautions to avoid contamination and or exposure once they showed symptoms, taking measures like isolation and limiting social interaction. These stories are personal experiences and should not be taken as medical advice. I am not a medical licensed doctor and this article is based on my opinion and those who shared their stories with me. 

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The morning after

James S. is a healthy and active young man in his early 40s, he felt untouchable by the virus and actually didn’t really know anyone who had been infected or had suffered from symptoms of Covid-19. It is with this mentality that he chose to live his life free from the worries of contracting the virus, ignoring the headlines and alarming news articles. He mentioned to me that it had crossed his mind whether this was all just a hoax and that the virus may have just been a ploy to change the social structure. At the time there were not many cases and or people in his life affected by this and because of his limited view and experience it was easy to disregard the warnings and how widespread the virus really was. He did wear a mask and followed the health department’s recommendations by keeping his distance whenever possible and limiting his physical contact with only people in his household. Yet he would often go to the store, grocery shopping at the big stores filled with people, he would go and take his dog out on walks regularly around his neighborhood and really did not limit his activities outdoors. After all he was healthy and strong and really had no worry about suffering severe symptoms, to be honest he mentioned to me that he had recovered from a severe flu like episode late December and even thought that this could have been Covid-19 and people really did not know what it was back then. He had heard of other people who had recovered from a stronger flu virus mid December to early January. This air of immunity came crashing down, one later afternoon when he decided to meet up with just a couple of friends for dinner. 

“it’s like battling your own demons at night.”

This was just a long overdue outing for James, he had not really interacted with his friends in person since the lockdown and had only communicated via phone and video chat. Businesses started opening back up here in LA and he wanted to take this opportunity to have dinner with just a couple of his close friends and catch up on what had been happening in their lives. Once he arrived at the restaurant he followed the common health precautions, but once he sat down and started talking with his friends he saw no reason as to why he had to keep his mask on, afterall it was not required when he sat down to eat. The dinner and conversation was a great refresher for James, he told me he really needed it and felt very happy to see his friends again in person. As James mentioned his story I reflected on the importance of social interaction for mental health, we are all social creatures after all and because of this; the pandemic has really dampered our ability to connect with loved ones and has even led to so many feeling isolated, depressed, anxious and sad. If you find yourself feeling intense sadness, isolation, and negative thoughts I encourage you to contact a mental health professional to guide you and provide you with tools during these difficult times.

The next morning James said he awoke feeling odd. He described the feeling as being tired, this was unusual for him since he is a morning person and wakes up feeling ready and refreshed. He didn’t really put too much thought into it since he had started a new exercise routine and thought that maybe his body was just adjusting to the new rhythm. As he got ready to do his activities he noticed that he felt a bit slower than usual. He described a mental fog as if things did not appear clear, he mentioned an instance in which he wanted to cook something in the morning but couldn't really find the motivation and the dexterity to do it, often feeling sluggish and unable to concentrate on a single task. Doing errands was very difficult since he felt this overwhelming sensation to sleep and just lay down. He reflected to me thinking about whether it was his new at home work out making him feel this tired, but he knew his body and knew that this new work out was not as intense and would not cause this reaction. Yet he continued to brush it off as if nothing was wrong, this was until he got home and found his girlfriend laying on the couch telling him that she couldn’t get anything done and felt tired and sluggish all day. He then began to connect the dots and think that maybe his symptoms were not just something to ignore, it was here that he made the connection that it may be Covid-19. 

“I felt trapped, nothing brought me joy while I was sick, not the food I love to eat, not the activities that make me happy, this virus just sucks and is a representation of what 2020 is all about.”

That night he felt the wrath of the virus, he said “it hit me like a train.” He said that it felt as if he had been beaten up. Every muscle in his body was tender and felt bruised. The chills would come and go, and he even felt a slight fever that would also come and go. His body did not feel hot but he would get hot flashes during the night accompanied by chills and pain. Needless to say, he did not get a good night's sleep. His girlfriend showed the same symptoms and together roughed out that first night. James recalls having vivid dreams, scary dreams, dreams that felt real as if he was awake. The dreams would often come multiple times at night, some were scary, some were just of him doing mundane things, but he described that they felt real as if he had been living them awake. This to me is an odd symptom for a virus and I have also heard from other clients that their dreams would feel more real while suffering from the virus. I even heard a newscaster say that it’s like battling your own demons at night. 

That morning he called off from work and told them what was going on. He had been working from home so there was no risk of contaminating anyone else. He called his friends and none of them had any symptoms but he told them that it would be a good idea to get tested. James then proceeded to sleep all day, losing his appetite and only eating small meals. It was at this time that he decided to make himself a cup of coffee, he is a self proclaimed coffee connoisseur and likes to seek out new and interesting flavors. He had one sip and quickly spit it out. The coffee tasted rancid and he had never really tasted a rancid coffee but he said that if he had it would have tasted like that cup of coffee. It was then he realized he couldn’t taste or smell the coffee. Coffee derives its taste from its aroma and unable to smell the coffee it lost all of its flavor profile. This made it very difficult to eat and enjoy his meals. The odd thing about this was that he did not feel congested like in other instances with the flu, when he had lost his sense of smell. His nasal cavity was clear and he would breath fine. He got worried and checked his oxygen levels and showed he had excellent oxygenation and his breathing was normal. James told me that for the next 4 nights his body continued to ache and his chills diminished but the sensitivity at night as well as the vivid dreams continued. He told me that his mattress felt too soft, and the softness was causing his back to hurt and ache in pain, so he proceeded to sleep on the floor which he mentioned helped. His girlfriend soon recovered, only losing her sense of smell for about a week and then slowly returned. James continued to feel tired and sluggish and took him about 2 weeks to recover from the sluggishness and tenderness from his back and muscle pain. He felt soreness all over his body, as if he had done an Ironman and was just recovering from overworking his muscles. His sense of smell did not come back until one month after his initial symptoms, making it difficult to enjoy his meals. James describes his experience like nothing he had felt before. He told me that he’s recovered from tough flu symptoms but nothing like this, it was as if the virus wanted to stop him from enjoying his day to day life. He said “I felt trapped, nothing brought me joy while I was sick, not the food I love to eat, not the activities that make me happy, this virus just sucks and is a representation of what 2020 is all about.” I chuckled at his response because for so many this virus is illusive, it is without context or experience. This causes many to feel disconnected by its effects and how it can cause havoc in your life. This is a reminder that the virus is very real and no one is really immune. James felt invincible and he told me that he would have never thought that it would hit him so hard and take him so long to recover, he said “I take care of my body, I’m healthy, why did this happen?” This virus is new and we must all do our part to learn from what is happening, no longer can we just ignore the signs. Please wear your mask and wash your hands. 

Update: James does not know when or where he got infected. None of his friends had symptoms or tested positive for the virus. James is now fully recovered and spreading the world on the reality he was faced with, and how he was able to overcome his symptoms, by advocating health and fitness.